Today the kids and I celebrated spring break by dropping by several of our favorite spots.
We started at the Children's Museum, then headed over to Primary Children's Hospital, and ended the day at the zoo. It was a great day. Better weather than we expected which is especially nice since we may get snow by the weekend.
As I watched the kids dashing around the museum, I had to keep my eyes peeled and be attentive, but oh how much nicer it was than 5 or 6 years ago! The museum was packed, but I could call to Chance when he was within a reasonable distance and he could hear me!!
Back before I realized that Chance was deaf, my outings with the boys (back when there was only them), seemed to be exhausting. Just getting ready to go anywhere seemed to take forever. And that was before we even left the house. Hindsight is always 20/20 as they say, but I realize now, what the deal was. Chance was deaf, I didn't know, and so he could not hear me. Chance was only 2 and 3, but even at that young age, kids can do some things when you are getting ready to go out on the town. They can come when you call, bring you their shoes, ask for help, carry their own coat, and you can give them simple commands such as, "pick up your coat please" , or "Let's go get in the car." Realizing that 2 and 3 year olds are unpredictable and don't always do what you say, they are still quite capable little people.
Chance didn't know what I was saying so he couldn't do any of those things I told him to do. His brother is only 2 years older than he is, so he wasn't entirely independent either. So getting ready to go somewhere, I would be gathering Chance's shoes up, he didn't hear me ask for them. I would have to make a real effort to make sure that I picked up his coat, I found his shoes, I led him to the car, I went over and started picking up the cars, I got his attention when we were going anywhere. I remember wondering at one point, why it seemed so tedious and time consuming to go to the store with the boys. I figured it was because I had two kids now instead of one. But now, after having two more children, lugging them to the store is not as hard as it was just taking the two boys. Chance did a superb job of hiding his deafness, but I think I compensated by having to guide him and watch him in a way that most 2 and 3 year olds don't have to be guided and watched. He heard absolutely nothing I said. So, in the store when I was telling him to stay by me, he would just bolt away unpredictably when he saw something interesting and I could not rely on him just doing what I said. Ever. I remember thinking at one point just before Chance was diagnosed as being deaf that most kids his age should be able to pick up the cars when you tell them to with out a parent coming to assist every time. In fact, I got stern with him and told him that it was time to pick up his cars. He must have been looking at me and wondering why I didn't look too happy. I felt really bad about that moment right after Chance was diagnosed. Here I was feeling like Chance was ignoring me when he could not hear me.
Even after he got the hearing aids, he could not hear well in a store or out in public at all. It was always hit and miss if he would hear and respond. Going out with the kids alone was a test in dexterity as I held the baby, tried to keep Chance close to me so he didn't get lost, and attempted to avoid putting too much pressure on my oldest son since if he took off and I had to chase him, I was not a happy camper.
My husband and I had to make a conscious effort not to expect too much of our oldest son to compensate for Chance not being able to hear us well in public. If our oldest son bolted, Chance would usually follow, and we could not call Chance back. We had to remind ourselves that even though Chance's brother had disobeyed us, he was not to blame for Chance following him.
Now, I can take all of the kids out in public and Chance can hear me and respond. It is true that he is older now as well, but today I was grateful anew that Chance can hear me and that he can feel confident in public. Chance feels free to explore more since he doesn't have to panic if he looks up and does not see me standing there. The best part of Chance being able to hear is Chance's confidence He can talk to other people. He can ask questions, he can respond to people around him, and I can give him directions like, 'Don't anybody leave the playhouse area without telling me," and all of my kids hear me. I watch Chance extra closely when we are out since he can not hear from as far away as the other kids, but I don't have to trail him and keep him chained to my side. He can hear me if he walks over to the bear cage and I need to call him back. I can call out to him and tell him that we are going the other way. He also doesn't feel as helpless as he once did when he did not know if other people would understand him when he talked to them. He can ask for help if he needs to.
Now, if there was just some kind of a way to make sure everyone listened to exactly what I said and obeyed each time........I could market and sell that.
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