Time Capsule

Nestled at the very back of a desk drawer, in an index file box, I discovered a forgotten treasure from when Chance was first diagnosed.

At first, the index cards that fell out and drifted to the floor puzzled me.  Card after card full of names of neighborhood children,  Disney characters and movies, and the names of various family members plus some of Chance's favorite foods.


Then the light went on in my brain and I realized, these were the cards I had made to use with Chance when he was diagnosed as being deaf.

This box represents Chance's world at the time of diagnosis. Kids he interacted with in the neighborhood, Disney characters since we were planning a trip to Disneyland, foods he liked, and the names of aunts, uncles and cousins that Chance would be interacting with.

Chance gets fitted with his very first hearing aids

Each card was a piece of vocabulary that would make Chance's life easier and more enjoyable if he could give names to the things he was interested in and the people he saw.

Chance and I would go through that box of words representing Chance's world to familiarize him with his surroundings. 

Our neighborhood is full of children and it was not uncommon for us to have six to ten extra kids playing over here at our house.

It  occurred to me that Chance did not know the name of these kids and we needed to give him names to help him feel more apart of the group.

Then there was the day Chance started requesting to see the movie,"Putta Putta," Chance was not really into movies at all, so it was surprising that he was so insistent that I put one on for him.  I had absolutely no idea what that movie could be.  Chance was insistent and started getting quite upset when I could not understand what he wanted. In fact, on that day, Chance had been running from one appointment to another and he was just tuckered out.  He needed someone to understand what he was saying and to let him relax. So he started to sob when I could not get the movie he was telling me to get.

Waiting for the earmolds to dry.

I ended up pulling out each movie case one by one and holding it up so Chance could give input.
It turned out the movie he wanted was "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."  To be fair to me, who could have guessed that would be the movie with the information given?  I was reminded of this incident when the index card marked Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  drifted to the floor when I opened the drawer.

It was like opening a box full of memories.  Chance's own time capsule.

It is now a precious little box to me full of memories and feelings I felt at the time.

It is also a reminder of how far we have come from those early days of diagnosis.

I could not have wished for a better outcome.  Chance now knows the name of more kids in the neighborhood than I do.  He can easily tell us what movies or foods he likes and as far as the relatives go,  besides the name Robert, which comes up 7 times in my husband's immediate family,  Chance has things pretty much covered.

Ignorance is bliss

Chance is constantly discovering new words to add to his ever-expanding vocabulary.  He loves to read which opens up a wondrous treasure of words to discover.  I love to see him expand his horizons and come to me with a conspirital air to share with me what is happening in the latest Harry Potter book he is reading.  He has passed the spot where his brother is reading and his brother does NOT want any of the plot to be given away so Chance and I have "secret discussions", whispering to each other about the latest happenings in the book.

Chance can often be found at night, a book propped up covering his face,  reading in blissful silence as his implants have been set aside creating his own silent oasis.  He will sometimes read for a few hours before bed. Who needs sleep when there are books to be delved into?

I love it. Except the going to bed really late part.

This past week, Chance came to me as I was doing laundry to ask some questions about some words he wasn't sure about.

The first words were "cock and bull", taken right out of his Harry Potter book.  I told him what it meant and Chance nodded and said, " That is what I thought it meant. I shouldn't say that though, right?"

We discussed how this was not a phrase that Chance should incorporate into his vocabulary but he now knew what it meant and this helped him verify that he got the meaning in the book.

The next word was PO'd.  Chance explained that he had been outside playing with friends, when one of the boys started to ride Chance's younger brothers bike.  'You better not ride that or my brother will be PO'd," Chance had said.

"What does PO'd mean mom?"  Chance asked me.

I found it cute that Chance had used a word, then cared enough to realize that he didn't know exactly what the word meant,  and wanted to find out.

"PO'd means pissed off, which is like saying ticked off.  It is not a nice way of saying it though, so you don't want to use that word."

Chance nodded and then started walking away.

"Chance", I called out to him,"Piss means pee."

Chance's face screwed up into an expression of disgust and unbelief.

"I AM SO NOT USING THAT WORD!"  Chance said.  He sounded like he meant it too.

A.G. Bell Speech Fair and MY heros

The annual Alexander Graham Bell Association chapter's speech fair was held a few weeks ago.  What this means is some parents of deaf and hard of hearing children and some of the professionals that work with them spent countless hours preparing for a night to let our kids shine.  I am so grateful to all of those who put in the time and effort to make these events possible.  There is no pay.  Along with long night of burning the midnight oil to bring events to fruition, but it is worth it.

We have seen Chance grow from a cute preschooler, hard to understand yet giving everything he's got to his performance, to a confident 11 year old who sings and plays the guitar in front of the assembled audience with a clear voice.

The theme of the event this year was Heroes.  Our youngest child broke out his superman costume for the event.  Chance dressed up as a sports hero that took our town, and in fact the nation, by storm and made for many memorable games watched at our house.  If you know who Jimmer is, you know the devotion he elicited.

My heroes though, were not really known as such to anyone but me.  My heroes were my two sons...Chance and his older brother.

Chance for all of his hard work through the years, the fact that he never gave up and overcame huge obstacles to talk and hear.  And he does them both well.

Chance introduces himself, his brother, and their song.

His older brother is my hero because he is his brother's keeper.  His devotion to his younger brother has brought tears to my eyes as well as to others through the years.

The speech fair this year was another example of selfless giving.

Chance and his brother take guitar lessons together.  They are also in choir in school together.

Chance is doing really well with his music.  As he sings and plays the guitar at the same time, he sometimes struggles to stay on key with both things together.  Usually he can correct himself and come back, but you don't want to get off when you are performing for a group.

So Chance asked his brother yet again if he would perform with him.

This is not a time when Chance's brother shines.  On the contrary,  it is a time for Chance to shine.
Chance's brother is quiet in his role deferring to Chance.  It is Chance's time to shine and his brother is for support.

This year, Chance's brother just sat next to Chance softly strumming the quitar and singing ever so softly to help keep Chance on track.

What is of note this year, is that all of Chance's brother's friends from school were having a party the same night as the speech fair.  They all asked over and over again if he would be attending the party.  At first, he was excited about the party and spending time with his friends.  As soon as he realized that the party was on the same night as the speech fair, he simply stated that he could not go because he was singing with his brother that night.

No complaining,  No lamenting that the two things fell on the same night.  Just matter of fact support for his brother Chance.

We took two cars to the event and told our son that if they got done soon enough, we would drive him home for at least part of the party.

The boys didn't perform until towards the end of the program however and so when all was said and done, there was only time to make it for the last 30 minutes of the party.

Chance's brother shrugged when I apologized that it was so late and offered to drive him home if he wanted.  It was ok he said.

Then he asked if he could have some of these friends over for night games after we got home.  We thought that was fair and Chance enjoyed the night games in the cul-de-sac as well.


Yes, I have heroes.  Chance for all of his efforts, and his brother for his great love and devotion to his brother.  Never expecting to be noticed and never leaving his brothers side if he is needed.

(Editor's note:  Due to fussy toddler, we didn't capture a decent-enough video - but they sang "This Land is Your Land")

Chance is a leader..even.when he can't hear

I had a very interesting conversation with a women in our church group who is a friend of mine.  She helped take Chance's scout group swimming.

It all started because I was relaying a conversation I had with Chance after he got home.  He was telling me what a great conversation he had with this woman on the way home from scouts.  Then he said that he would like to talk with her more often.

She had really made an impression on my boy.

While I was telling her about her effect on my son,  she told me what a great kid Chance was and how he was a leader in scouts.

I jokingly said,'Especially when he is swimming and can't hear anything?"

She said,"Actually, yes."

She told me that Chance would help to round up the other boys when the leaders were calling them to line up.

Chance can't hear anything in the pool because his implants are off so that was interesting for me to hear.

I mentioned that I wondered if Chance felt a part of things when he was at a scout swimming activity and my friend said that he got along just fine.  He was involved and played around like all of the other scouts.
She noted that the leaders actually had to call many of the other boys several times to line up etc. but not Chance.

Chance has learned to watch signals and pay attention to what is going on in his silent world during swim team activities.  Plus, when you are deaf, I am sure you just have to learn to read the subtle signals around you since you can't take for granted that you'll just hear what is going on as you do something else.

There was only one time that Chance's deafness came into play and that was when there was a false start.  The leaders called all of the boys back to start again.   Chance however, simply continued his course down the swimming lane.  He didn't notice anyone waving him back or that everyone else had stopped.

She said we just figured,'Oh well!  And let him swim to the end of the pool and then motioned him to come back and start again with the other boys.

Chance may have been a bit more tuckered out than the others seeing as how he had already swam the length of the pool and all, but he didn't seem to mind.  He just swam again.

That's my boy!

Together anything is possible

My husband and I teach Chance's age group in church.  A bunch of cute 11 year old boys who will all turn 12 sometime this year.

One of the boys is on the autistic spectrum and I just love him.  He doesn't say much at all, and it is hard sometimes to know how much he is getting out of class.

I want him to be able to do anything and everything that he is capable of doing and not feel left out.

This is personal for me because when Chance was first diagnosed,  his church class was a challenge for him sometimes.  When we informed people that Chance was deaf at age 3,  most people were naturally completely unfamiliar with the situation.

Some people were uncomfortable and didn't know quite what to do.  Should they try to include Chance or just leave him alone and not call any attention to him in case he didn't hear what was said? So there were no expectations and Chance sat not participating in any of the activities sometimes.

Then there were other people who seemed to naturally know how to relate beyond the words and talking.  There were people that still bring tears to my eyes when I think of them because of how they were able to relate to Chance.  It was usually simple gestures like the man in our ward whose last name is Bird and he took the time to pull Chance aside and show him the sign for bird so Chance would know his name.  Chance would run to this man for years and hug him when he saw him at church.

There were people in the hallways who would gently touch Chance and say hi with a smile just to make sure that a connection was made.  It made Chance feel so welcome.  It made me feel so welcome.

I am not passing judgement here, as I honestly don't know how I would have reacted had I been introduced to  a deaf child before I had Chance.  I don't know if I would have been one who instinctively knew to reach out or not.

I have learned on this journey though, that little gestures can mean a lot and to reach out even if I don't know exactly how to do that.

As part of our church services, the kids go to their own classes while their parents attend other meetings.

Songs are learned and principles taught each week through games and lessons while the kids gather in a room for what is called Sharing Time.

Most of the kids are practically bouncing out of their seats to be chosen to come up and "fish" or put up a picture etc.

Our little autistic class member can not participate most of the time due to various reasons.

Well I could see him watching the happenings at the front of the room with great interest and I thought how great it would be if he could participate.  The activity involved picking a topic out of  a brown bag and drawing it out on the chalk board.  This would not be something that he could do alone.

Then I thought that he COULD do it though if he had a little help.  And I knew Chance would be able to provide just the right amount.

Chance walked up to the front of the room with this boy and without any prompting, stood back and took only a supporting roll when it was needed.  He seemed to naturally know when to help and when to stand back and let the boy have his independence.

I often wonder if Chance's experiences on his road back to hearing gives him a special understanding and insight into what the needs of others might be.

A friend of the heart

This past Saturday, we had our annual neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt and brunch.  It is an occasion that the kids look forward to all year long.  It is hosted by our neighbors, a retired couple that my kids lovingly refer to as grandma and grandpa.  It is a time to gather, share food, hunt for eggs and mingle with the neighbors in a relaxed setting.

Chance looks for more treats

In our conversation with our hosts,  they mentioned how they could not believe how big Chance had gotten.  They were recalling the days when he was quite young and was learning to hear and speak.

I will forever be grateful for the love they showed when Chance was diagnosed as being deaf.  Seeing as he was  only two going on three I went to each of the neighbors in our cul-de-sac to talk to them about Chance's condition.

I explained that he had been diagnosed as being deaf and so if he did not respond to them, he was not being rude or defiant.  He simply could not hear them.  I also wanted them all to understand that Chance could not hear cars, so just to be aware that he would not hear them approach or honk.

Our neighbor looked over to where Chance was playing in their yard while he waited for me and replied,"We'll just have to love him more."  What wonderful people.

This past weekend they were marveling  back when Chance was first diagnosed, (and I'd dare say for a few years afterwards), when he was hard to understand sometimes when he talked to you.  This did not faze Chance, who had talked to us in the family during his whole two years of hearing nothing.  I think he figured we were the ones who had issues when we did not know what he was saying.

Chance shows off his new Easter tie.

We in the family could of course understand Chance more than other people just like a mother can usually understand many things her toddler says that other people just don't understand.

There was another person who understood Chance though.  In fact, he acted as a sort of translator.  His name was Cade and he is still one of Chance's best friends.

Our neighbors marveled at how Chance would say something to them, and they would try their darnedest to understand what he said, but many times they just did not get it.

Cade would then translate for them what Chance had just said.  He did this a lot.

"Cade always seemed to understand just what he was saying and would tell us and then help Chance understand what we said in return.  It was phenomenal!"  Our neighbor said chuckling.

It was indeed phenomenal.  I truly believe that Cade was a gift of God to our little son.  A peer who was not phased that his little friend could not hear or talk like other kids.  The two could always be found together riding bikes, playing cops and robbers or just conspiring while they ate popsicles.

Just this last week in church, I smiled as I saw Chance and Cade sitting side by side in their class just like always.  And just like from the beginning of their relationship, if Chance misses something that is said or needs clarification, he turns to Cade and Cade clarifies what has been said.

Best Friends - the early years

Chance has also been dedicated to Cade.  Cade has a milk allergy that sifts out many foods as an option for consumption.  Chance ensures at each of his birthday parties, that something is served that Cade can eat.  He has been known to regularly go through our cupboards looking for something that Cade enjoys too eat when all of the other kids are slurping down fudgesicles or eating chocolate chip cookies.

Chance has also earnestly studied several wrappings that our food is packaged in to check for hidden dairy products or come to me and asked,"Can Cade have this?"

Cade is truly a blessing in Chance's life and I believe that Chance is a blessing in Cade's life. They are truly friends of the heart.

April Fool's Day

Notice the orange sign:  "Ear Protection Required!"

As you may know, today is April Fool's Day, a day to trick your family and friends and add a little zest to their lives.

For instance, Chance's dad and I filled the Fruit Loops Box with popped popcorn to give the kids a little jolt this morning when they poured their cereal.  We only let them eat sugar cereal on Sundays so we knew they would  the pick Fruit Loops:)

As it turned out, everyone got up before Chance this morning and delighted in the reminder that it was April Fool's Day. 


Chance eventually wandered out this morning and looked at the popcorn filled box with confusion and a slight smile.  Then he just moved onto the cereal cupboard to pick something besides popcorn to pour his milk on.

A few other tricks were played during the morning and then about noonish, someone mentioned that April Fool's Day is a great day but kind of a rip off when it falls on a Sunday and you don't have contact with as many people(i.e. friends you can have wild fun tricking).

Chance got a surprised look on his face and said,"It's April Fools Day today?!  No wonder all of that weird stuff was happening!  I didn't even get to trick anybody yet!"

Chance did not have his implants on during the initial start to the day when the fact that it was April Fool's Day was established.

Turns out, we got Chance even better than we could have planned for:)

You can't go back......

My husband and I  watched some family video footage tonight of both the birth day of Chance's younger sister and the first few weeks of her life.

Chance shows his affection for his baby sister.

It was cute with all of the emotion of those tender moments with our new baby flooding back along with the darling interactions of our boys with their younger sister.

There was the footage of us leaving the hospital where Chance kept running way up ahead.  We called him back, but of course he did not hear us.  He found a couple at the end of the hospital hallway who were gathering up their supplies to take their baby home. Chance sat on his little haunces entranced watching them.

He had no idea what was being said by them or by us who were calling him to come back.

Chance after helping to bath his baby sister.

Some of the video made both my husband and I cringe though.

 Like the scene where we are all relaxed in the living room watching the miracle that is a new baby flex her fingers, open and close her eyes and make squeaking noises.

Chance's brother was walking up and  kissing his new baby sister.

Not Chance.  We would ask him if he wanted to, but he just kept in the background.

I have a segment of footage of Chance when we put the video camera on him as that is what we thought he wanted.  He kept peeking around to the front of the camera.  We thought he just wanted to see himself and there was probably some of that.
But when we focused the camera on him, there was also a look on his face of deep contemplation, like he was trying to figure things out.

I put my head down on my husband's chest at this point and kind of groaned as my husband sighed.

Chance looks like he is thinking and figuring things out.

There was our  sweet darling boy who was not hearing anything and here was this new baby and all of these things going on around him that he just did not understand.

Then there was the point where we kept telling Chance to "stop pulling on that."(we think he kept pulling on the lens cap for the camera.  That is our best guess from what we can see in the video)  We repeated that phrase several times and our poor deaf boy just kept going along probably wondering why his parents had a look of disapproval on their faces.

It is a little heartbreaking to look back now and watch Chance knowing that all the while during those times in his life that he was deaf and no one knew.

I wonder if he felt alone.
Did he long to hear again?
Did he wonder in confusion why he could not hear anything anymore?
Was he scared?
Oh how I wish I could comfort that small deaf boy that he was and snuggle him and let him know that it was alright.  That we would help him and that he was not alone.

Chance makes a fashion statement

While it doesn't do the cut justice, you can still almost
make out the cut

Who could have guessed almost seven years ago when Chance got his implants that someday down the road, the scars would become trendy?
Just goes to show that you never know what is going to happen in this world.

Chance's fashionable moment started when we pulled up to the hairdresser's.  I had taken the boys to the appointment right after I picked them up from school so we had not had time to discuss hair cutting.  I thought we were just going to do the usual, you know,"Give us the usual Leann."  But my boys had other plans which they sprung on me as we raced into the building so we wouldn't be late.

There was talk about some sort of stripe on the sides of their heads.

Being a conservative person with hair,  I was leery. Stripes?  This did not sound like an attractive look to me, but Chance's brother pulled a picture up on his lap top to show me what they were talking about.
OK, is was not as bad as it initially sounded and the boys would not end up looking like they belonged to some sort of grungy boy band in the end, so I let them have a go at it.

They were very excited and we showed my friend the picture on the computer so she would know what to do.

It was not until Chance's hair cut was well underway that I thought about the scars from his implant surgeries that are vertical.  The strip look is horizontal.  It suddenly occurred to me that this haircut might end up either high lighting his implant scars in an unattractive way, or just look plain dorky.

Chance doesn't wear his implants while his hair is being cut, so  my friend and I had a short discussion and then decided to proceed with the stripes anyway.

And wouldn't you know, when all was said and done,  it looked great!

As my friend took the cape off of Chance's neck, she said,"You know, the scars kind of make it look cool."

I had to agree that was the case.

So now Chance has a stylin' hair cut and it is truly unique to him.  This is not a look that just anyone can get, you have to just have it naturally.  Others can look in envy and want the look for themselves, but only Chance can pull this look off in the end:)

I hit Chance with the van

I hit Chance with our van.  A moment of panic that obviously came as quite a surprise. Frankly if it was going to happen, I thought it would have been when he was younger and wasn't hearing.

I worried about Chance being hit by a car when he was little because he could not hear cars.  It didn't occur to me this late in the game that I would hit him because he mistook the sound of the van starting and backing up to be the central vacuum cleaner turning on..  The vacuum empties into a canister in the garage and it does make a bit of noise.

Chance came around the driveway, behind his dad's car, and bent over to pick up the newspaper just as I was backing out of the garage to drive the boys to school.  I thought Chance was still in the house, and apparently, Chance thought I was still in the house too which is why we bumped into each other.

It was quite a scare for me to see Chance's head suddenly poke up in my back window.  My heart skipped a beat, I sucked in air, slammed on the brakes and  started a prayer of gratitude that it was a miss.

The look on Chance's was a mix of surprise and unfathomability.

Later, Chance told me,"The van actually touched me! Just barely."

All of that time that Chance could not hear and now is the time that he is hit by a car albeit ever so gently thank goodness.

Chance said that he heard a noise in the garage, but thought it was the central vacuum starting up.  This is why  he wasn't concerned about the possibility of the van rolling down the driveway while he bent over to retrieve the newspaper.

Thankfully, we are all safe, and thanking our Heavenly Father that Chance was protected from what could have been a tragic situation.