Chance's classmates ask all sorts for questions

Talking to the kids at Chance's school went really well.  The kids had already learned a bit about the Deaf Community and sign language.  It was a good experience for all of us I think. We explained why we decided to get implants for Chance and our experience.  We also talked touched on philosophical differences between the Deaf Community and those who want deaf children to learn to hear and talk.  It was an interesting discussion.  I believe everyone should do what they feel is best for their family and no one should feel that attacked for their decision.

The kids asked some really good questions about how the implants worked, and if Chance heard things in monotone through the implant.

Chance's dad and I talked to the class for about an hour and 20 minutes and then we had Chance come in to answer questions.  Chance is good to do this kind of stuff.  It does not phase him and he is always so generous to answer questions about his implants and what it is like to wear them.

One of the boys said that he wondered what it was that Chance had on his head, but didn't know if it was appropriate to ask.  Then one day Chance said hi to him in the hall and introduced himself and after that, he didn't even notice the implants.  Chance was just Chance a kid he said hi to in the hall.

The teacher had the same concern about whether it was considered appropriate to ask questions when you see someone with something like implants on.  I can't speak for other people, but I told them that I always welcomed questions as Chance was growing up.  I figured that I would be curious if I didn't know what implants were and I saw someone wearing them.  I could see myself trying to figure out if they were special hearing aids or something.  It is natural to be curious.  I knew some other moms of deaf kids that got really bothered if people stared at their kids implants.  I usually smiled at people if I saw them staring and several times people would approach me and ask what they were.  Once I told them they were like,'Oh, OK".  Most of them thought implants were pretty cool once I explained what they did and how they helped Chance to hear.

I found kids to be wonderful most of the time too.  Many times kids are more open in their questions as they don;t have that sense of worrying about if it is appropriate to ask about them.  They are just curious.  I will always remember a group of kids in Arizona while we were on vacation.  We went to pick up my niece from school and the kids at lunch gathered around us as we sat down and started asking questions about the implants.  Once we explained that just like some of them used glasses to see, Chance used implants to hear, they were satisfied.  They asked a few more questions like how they stayed on his head etc. but there was no malice in them.  They just wanted to know.

Chance told his classmates what it was like to wear implants and one of the things he brought up was how nice it was to be able to tune the world out at night.  Everyone envied Chance his ability to do that.  He made his classmates laugh by telling them about how he took his implants off once in an argument with his brother about an airsoft gun.  Many of the kids expressed how awesome it would be to be able to tune out siblings during disagreements etc.  We actually don't encourage this method of coping as a family for obvious reasons.  Chance can not just tune out when he doesn't like what is going on. He hasn't actually done that for a while now.

Chance answered questions and let the kids see where the magnets attached the implant to his head.  He also showed them how is implant would attach to the door frame as well.  They all loved that.

We got many thank yous after the presentation.  I think we all benefited from learning about Chance and hearing loss in general.  We showed the kids a video of the Flintstones where you can experience a little bit what it is like to have mild hearing loss, moderate hearing loss, severe hearing loss and a profound loss.  That clip really helped the kids to see that having hearing loss is not just about making sounds louder.  The more severer your loss is, the more muffled the sounds become as well as getting quieter.

It was a fun experience and the kids were very respectful and thoughtful in their questions. Oh and now the kids all know that Chance can read lips really really well.  One of the girls asked Chance if he could read lips across the room.  Chance answered that he could sometimes.  The girls giggled.  I think I helped to give away Chance's superpower of reading the lips of girls to see what they are talking about.  All of the girls were older and in high school so maybe they won't pass that information down to the girls that are Chance's age:)

One of the girls challenged Chance to test his skills with fingerspelling on a website that signs really really fast.  She put it on the highest setting to see if Chance was up to the challenge.  He figured it out on the third try as the girl was using her hands to finger spell at lightening speed.

Chance is really good at lip reading AND fingerspelling.  The class was impressed.

Chance's class gets to know Chance up close and personal

Tomorrow is the big day.  Chance's dad and I will be going to the school to give a presentation about Chance and how we chose to have him learn to speak when he was diagnosed as being deaf.

Chance's school is having a three week period called Winterim where the kids do in depth study of topics not usually covered in school.  It is a three week term of learning that the kids look forward to after the Christmas break.  One of the classes this year is an introduction to ASL.  Since Chance attends the school as a deaf boy who hears, the teacher asked us if we would come and do a 90 minute presentation about how we chose to get implants for Chance and our journey.  These kids will have also been exposed to the Deaf culture and their desire for deaf children to learn to sign.

Although there can be very passionate feelings on both sides of the choice to teach a deaf child to hear or to teach them ASL to communicate, we hold no ill will towards any families and their decision.  To be honest, we have felt judged during our process to help Chance hear by those who thought deaf children should mainly sign.  That path would have not  have been right for Chance.  Chance hears and he loves to hear.  He will use sign language when a situation calls for quiet such as church or when he doesn't want his siblings to know what he is telling us.  But on the whole, Chance considers himself a speaker and he is very good at it.

Chance knows about this presentation and I asked him if he was OK with us sharing his story, along with pictures and video of him growing up.  He had no problem what so ever.  His fellow classmates are about to hear the nitty gritty story of Chance's deafness and his journey to hear.

We have some great video of Chance when he was little and learning to speak and read.  My favorite is the prayer video, because it captures a period of our lives perfectly.  At the time of the video, we didn't know that Chance was deaf, we just knew that his prayers at night and over food were long and full of words the rest of us didn't know.  Some of Chance's prayers would go on for some time and his brother who was 4(Chance was 2) would start signaling to Chance that he should start to wrap it up.  We don;t usually record prayers, but Chance's prayer ritual was getting so amusing that we felt we should record it for posterity.  And we are glad that we did.  It shows quite well what Chance's attitude was.  He was perfectly fine and knew what he was saying...... it was the rest of the family who had issues if we couldn't understand him.

I just love this kid.



















Chance getting ready for his first implant surgery.


          













We will work on uploading the video to the blog tomorrow.  We may be a bit biased, but we think Chance is adorable in the video.

Naked Beans

It was one of those days when all of the best layed plans went out the window.  The day was proceeding along nicely until breakfast, when Chance's little sister flipped the whisk that was in the hot Cream of Wheat that had just come out of the microwave.  Steaming Cream of Wheat splashed up onto her little hand causing first and second degree burns.  Her hand started to blister all over the burn and the blisters just kept growing.

Our doctor could not get us in for several hours so we went to an instaCare center where the waiting room was full of people waiting to be seen.  It was apparently a day for wounds and sickness for many people.
The doctor and nurse did a good job wrapping up the burn and gave us some cream to help it heal.

 By the time we were done at the doctor's and were at the pharmacy to get a prescription, the afternoon was almost over and I started worrying about the beans for our dinner soup.  Since I had not been home all afternoon, the beans had yet to soak for the hour that they needed before I could cook with them.  But then I remembered that Chance was home!  I could call and ask Chance to boil the beans for me so that they were soaking when I got home.  So, while I was in line at the pharmacy, I called Chance.  The conversation went like this:

Me:  Chance, I need you to get 1 cup of navy beans, and 4 cups of water.  Put them in one of our big soup.....

Chance:  What?

Me: I need you to get some navy beans in the pantry....

Chance: I can't really understand you.

Me: Chance, use your caption phone.

Chance: I am using the caption phone.

Me:  OK, turn on the captions.

Chance: The captions are on already!

Me:  Get one cup of navy beans...

Chance: Naked beans?

Me: (Laughing.) No, navy beans.  (Naked beans? I was preparing for a family meal, there would be no naked beans involved.)

Again Me:  Get 1 cup of NAVY beans....

Chance:  One cup of nady beings?

Me: (Laughing really hard so I am sure that the caption person was quite unsure how to translate what I was doing).
OK, Chance, I am going to hang up and call back so we can try again.

I thought maybe we had a bad connection.  Maybe a bad caption connection.  Meanwhile, I called back a few minutes later to try again.

Second attempt:

Me:  Chance?  Are you ready?

Chance: (Nothing.)

Me: Chance are you ready?

Chance: Yes.

Me: OK, I need you to get 1 cup of navy beans and four cups of water and put them in a soup pot until they boil.....

Chance: Nazybeans?

Me: N-A-V-Y  B-E-A-N-S.  They are little white beans in the pantry with the noodles.......

Chance: What?!

Me:  Get the white beans that are in the pantry by the noodles, put 1 cup of them in 4 cups of water and put them on high until they boil.  Then take them off the heat......no, I will be home by then just let them boil.

Navy Beans

Chance: It is really hard to understand you.

Me: I will do it when I get home in a minute.

Chance: OK, love you.

I really needed that laugh today.  And whenever I need a good cheering up, I will just think back to my naked bean discussion with Chance.

Chance had saved his conversations on the caption phone that he had with me so I was able to review them. I started to laugh all over again when I saw them.  Apparently, the caption people were not getting what I was saying either.
This is part of the actual conversation that was scrolling down the screen for Chance:

I need you to get 4 cups of water. Okay? Four coups of water. And then one dup of (muffled audio).......
laughs. NAZYBEANS Nazybeans. They're back in the pantry with the noodles. Their little white beans. Unit that one cup of beans and 4 cups of water in one of our big pot. Bring it to a boil.  Put it together and then put it on high.

The goal:  Ham and Bean Soup

AND

Okay, One cup of nady being. One cup of nady beans. I'm gong to text you. Do you have your phone?(it was dead). Okay.  One cup of (Laughs). Okay. Nady.

So, there was a communication gap between Chance and I, THAT WILL MAKE ME SMILE WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT FOREVER.  Poor Chance. Trying to figure out what he was supposed to be doing with naked, nazy and nady beans.  How could he know what the expectations were?

I needed that laugh today.  The soup turned out just fine, we just ate about an hour and a half later than normal. But the burn is OK, and isn't causing much discomfort and that is the most important development of the day.
And I love Chance for trying.  When I got home he was filling a pot with water and trying to piece together what he was supposed to do.  What a great kid.

Naked beans.  HA!HA!HA!

Chance's Christmas concert

Tis the holiday season when choir classes at schools across the nation, perform the songs they have been working on for months.

Chance has been going through finals, his singing performance being part of his choir final.  As a stroke of luck, Chance was actually positioned in a spot where we could see him unlike his last concert where he was totally hidden by bigger high school kids.  It is much easier for parents to photograph and video their children if they can see them.  Otherwise, things get awkward like the summer I photographed the wrong kid coming off the slide at swim class.  We parents were all lined up by the slides trying to time things just right so that when our child came around the corner on the slide and splashed into the water, we could permanently record the moment.  I snapped a photo of a child I didn't even know. Obviously, I was off that day.  But I digress...

At the concert however, we had a decent view of Chance and were able to record him singing the songs that we had been hearing bits and pieces of as he strolled through the house during the last few weeks.

Chance did great and I am once again grateful that my boys stuck it out in choir in the early days when all of their male friends switched out of class as soon as their mothers weren't looking.  My boys like to sing and on top of their school performance, they both sang in the church choir this year.

So, here is Chance performing one of the songs from his choir concert.  We missed the first verse on video, but this is "The 12 days AFTER Christmas" - To set the stage, here's the missed first verse: "The first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight.  And so I chopped the pear tree down, and burned it just for spite.  And with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge, my true love, my true love, my true love gave to me."

Jingle Bells and other tales of the season

I was sitting in a chair reading when Chance came out, wiping sleep from his eyes and with out implants on.  His little sister ran up to him and grabbed onto his leg to greet him. She then handed him some Christmas stories that she had been looking at.  Chance pulled her down into a chair with him and began to read the stories to her.

After a few stories, Chance's sister turned to him and said,"You got to sit on Santa's lap yesterday like me!"
Chance did not respond.
His little sister then took Chance's face and turned it until he was facing her and again said,"You got to sit on Santa's lap yesterday like me!"
I heard Chance say, "Huh?"

I heard my daughter's little voice sigh in exasperation.  Chance was still looking at her trying to figure out what she was saying.

Chance is an excellent lip reader even when his implants are off.   His sister is just little enough though that she is still learning to enunciate her words and sometimes we have to have her repeat things so we know what she is saying.  Interestingly enough, apparently this transfers over into lip reading as well.  If someone does not pronunciate their words correctly, the shape of their mouth must make it more difficult to read their lips.

By now, Chance's little sister had positioned herself on his lap right in front of him so they were looking into each other's faces  I gently explained to her that Chance could not hear her because he did not have implants on yet.  Since Chance had started reading stories to her right away, I don't think it occurred to his sister that he could not hear her.

When I told Chance the same thing that his sister had been trying to tell him about Santa,  he read my lips and smiled at his sister and said,"Yep! I did see Santa!"

Then Chance suggested to his little sister that she drive little Matchbox cars on his back.  It is a wonderful sensation when someone does that, like a little rub down with pint size cars.  So right now, Chance is spread out on the floor and his little sister is driving miniature cars and trains up and down his back.  Chance looks quite content.  And he still can't hear any of us as his implants have yet to make their way to his ears this morning.

Sheesh

Every once in a while Chance does this thing where he comes out without implants,  and then proceeds to call me.

"Mom?"

"What?"

"Mom?"

"What?"

"Mom?"

"W H A T?"  I answer looking around to figure out where he is and why he keeps calling me after I have answered him each time.

Chance will be there on a chair or standing in the kitchen, with out implants on totally and completely unable to hear my answer, calling me.

Really?

Dude!  If you want to ask me something, you have to do your part and make sure you can hear me! That is what I am thinking.

I will catch his eye by waving my hands furiously like I am landing a small plane or wad up a piece of paper and throw it at him.

When he looks at me, I tell him to put his implants on.

Sheesh.

Deaf teenagers:)

Chance goes to spin class

Over Thanksgiving break when the boys were out of school, Chance and his brother came with me for the first time to spin class.

For those of you who have not experienced spin class before, you use a kind of stationary bike with a dial in front of you so that you can adjust the tension.  Turning the dial to the left, makes for easier peddling because there is less tension.  Turning the dial to the right, causes the pedaling to get harder and  the more you turn the dial to the right, the more it feels like you are climbing a giant hill.

Chance and his brother joined me during the wee morning hours before the sun was up to get an hour of exercise in for the day.

Spin class is held in a room full of bikes and after doing the warm up, most of the lights are turned out and you ride in the dark.  I don't know why.  So there all three of us were, exercising in the dark listening to our instructor give out instructions like, "Turn down the tension to level 4.....now, here comes a hill,  turn it up to level 9, here we go!"

Chance's brother being an avid biker, was in his element though it was a bit weird for him to be riding on a stationary bike.  I tried to help the boys during the class to know what was going on as the first time you go, it can be little confusing to know exactly where say level 9 is because there are no numbers on the dial.  It is very individual, you learn what a level 9 is for you and turn up the tension until it feels like you are climbing a steep hill, or what level feels like a flat level road to you.

When Chance and his brother were spinning their legs really fast while the rest of us were struggling up a hill, I told them to turn up the tension.

All during the class the instructor is calling out instructions and giving encouragement as you work to get stronger and better.

At one point, I looked over next to me and found Chance with his head practically on the handle bars and his legs barely able to push the pedals.   He looked exhausted.  I tried to get his attention and tell him to turn the tension down, and he did, but he was still struggling.  I told him to turn it down some more and then it occurred to me that Chance had not been hearing all of the instructions.  He had turned up the tension and then left it there, not hearing when the instructor told us to turn it down. We had been doing a pattern of turning the dial clear down to the left, riding as fast as we could, and then turning the dial up high like we were riding a hill.  We had done that at least 3 times except for Chance had not been hearing the change in instructions so he had kept the tension high the entire time.

I took note of the loud music, the dark room and realized that Chance probably could barely hear the instructor at all.

I felt so bad and told Chance to turn down the tension and get a drink.  He asked me if he could go to the bathroom and I told him that would probably be a good idea thinking it would give him a chance to bring down his heart rate.  When he got back, he looked much better.

I don't know that spin class was all that fun for Chance. He liked riding the bike and the music, but he wasn't able to hear the instructions.  We'll have to take him back and this time be more prepared.  Chance is more familiar with how the class works now, and his brother and I would make sure to tell him each time there was a change in how we were riding.   I want him to go and have a better experience the next time.  I am amazed at Chance and the way he just kept riding even though it was really hard for a loooong time for him.

Chance is a little trooper.

Politics is like the government and stuff

Chance has been working on an assignment in history class called "Adopt a grandparent."   The assignment included Chance doing interviews with his chosen grandparent.  Chance has chosen the best grandpa in our area to interview.  He and his wife are like the foundation of our neighborhood.  They plan neighborhood events and my children actually call them grandma and grandpa.

Chance has really gotten to know some things about his adopted grandpa through these interviews.

We were talking while in the car about various things the government is involved in.  I will just end it there.  Just let it be known that the conversation was full of opinions.

Chance chuckled, "Me and grandpa had the best time talking about politics during our last interview!"

Then he laughed.

Then he paused and said, Wait, politics is like the government and stuff right?"

When I assured him that politics was like the government and stuff, he went on.
"Ya, we talked about a lot of politics because we were talking about patriotism."

It is important that Chance know just what politics are.  He'll spend his whole life being affected by politics.  And talking about politicians. And having opinions about politics. And having that one person he knows who will insist on sharing their opposite opinion with Chance on a regular basis whether he wants them to or not.
Yes, he needs to be aware of just what politics are. I'm glad we clarified the definition.

Spirit Week

This past week was spirit week at Chance's school.  That means the kids got to do various activities each day like crazy hair day, crazy leg day (I know, don't ask), and on the last day they put face paint on their faces and sprayed their hair the school colors for an assembly.

Chance went to school benign enough.  He had a few streaks of face paint on with a supply of more to add later before the assembly.

By the time I picked Chance up from school, almost his entire head of hair was sprayed in school colors.  I asked him if his friends helped him.  He said no, a teacher had helped him.  THE teacher that teaches drama and is amazing at costuming and make-up.  She helped to make sure that Chance's efforts at school spirit were not half- hearted.

Chance told me the story about how as his teacher was covering his hair with yellow color, she suddenly kind of shrieked and said, "AH!  CHANCE, I FORGOT ABOUT YOUR IMPLANTS! THEY HAVE SOME SPRAY ON THEM!"

Chance chuckled and said, "Thank goodness I had my soccer covers on my implants.  Those wash off a lot easier."

Later that night,  after I told Chance's dad the story, he replied, "Is that why I saw Chance washing his soccer covers in the sink today?"

Why yes, that is why you saw Chance washing his soccer covers at the sink honey.  They participated in spirit week by doning the appropriate colors:)

The Shadow

Halloween night, we had a little party over here at our house for Chance, his brother and a few of their friends. We have a Japanese exchange student here for the week and a day after landing in the United States, he got to experience Halloween.  There is another family in the neighborhood who has an exchange student as well and he joined us at at the party.

Part of the festivities was a scavenger hunt that I arranged placing items at various houses throughout the neighborhood for the boys to find and bring home.  Then I handed them a map with the proper houses marked with an X.

Chance led one team and his brother the other.  The teams took off into the night and we passed out candy to pint size trick or treaters.  Chance's brother's team won.  They all came in panting and the Japanese exchange students crashed onto the floor leaning against the couch to rest. They had run at break neck speeds through the neighborhood while still adjusting to a different time zone.  They are awesome.  The boys had made good time dashing around the streets near our house to locate the items.

Now the boys had to carve or decorate a pumpkin using the items they collected on the scavenger hunt.  It didn't matter if they carved the pumpkin or just managed to stick stuff onto it, they just had to use all of the items.  I thought it would give the Japanese students an opportunity to decorate a pumpkin.  In the past our exchange students have been rather fascinated with carving pumpkins.  Chance and his team arrived not long after his brother's team.

When the boys sat down with their pumpkins to begin decorating them,  it soon became clear that Chance's team did not have all of the items.  When this was pointed out, Chance exclaimed in exasperation,"I didn't know we had to go to all of the houses!"

I told Chance that I had explained that when all of the boys were sitting in the living room before they left.
 Chance looked around a little confused and then said." I didn't hear that! I am deaf you know." Chance likes to know what the plan is, and he felt he didn't have that information in this case.  Chance also rarely brings up his deafness in contexts like this.  There was actually another deaf boy on Chance's team and he didn't realize that they were supposed to go to all of the house's either.

So I loaded up Chance and took him back to the two houses he missed to gather the items.

All the boys ended up carving the pumpkins and then incorporating the items into their design.  The Japanese students pulled the pumpkin guts out with their bare hands.  They worked together with a look of both unbelief and wonder as the seeds and stringy goo never seemed to end.

It is worth noting that this year Chance and his brother dressed up as Peter Pan and his Shadow.  Chance was the shadow.  They had a great time hamming this situation up at school as Chance would steal his brother's hat and his brother would chase after him.  Apparently, Peter Pan also tried to sew his shadow on a few times as well.  They kept the student body amused.

At one point during their dad's trick or treat parade at his work, Chance wrote up an imaginary declaration of independence and handed it to Peter Pan.  His brother refused to accept it and tore the imaginary document into shreds.


Our family always has a theme we dress up like for Halloween.  This year, Chance's youngest brother and sister held heavy sway over our theme.  They chose Peter Pan.  So, Chance was Peter Pan's Shadow, his brother was Peter Pan,  his sister was  pirate, his brother was Captain Hook and his littlest sister was Wendy.  She wanted to be little Wendy and me to be big Wendy.  So we were both Wendy with matching blue dresses and bows in our hair.  Chance's dad was Mr. Smee.  A pointed request from Chance's little sister...she wanted her dad to be Mr. Smee.  It worked out quite well and everyone looked great.  I think Chance's little sister pulled off being Wendy better than I did, but one really can't compete with someone who is that cute.