Things that go bump in the night...and day and midafternoon

Chance is hearing things. I mean, he has been hearing things for many years now for which we are very grateful. Lately though, he has been hearing eerie things that make him highly nervous. He has come to me several times and told me that he hears footsteps, knocking or other random noises from our basement. This sort of thing gets to a kid. I have tried to figure out what he is hearing. The basement is mostly unfinished and part of the house upstairs has wood floors so the noise carries. I had Chance go downstairs and then I ran across the wood floor and back to see if that is what he is hearing.

It wasn't.

I have gone down to check out the noises when he hears them, but the noise is gone by the time I get there.

The mystery is, what is Chance hearing? We have been in this house for several years so one would think that all of the basic daily noises such as walking across the wood floor, or the dishwasher draining, would be noises that Chance has acclimated to.

I don't want Chance to be scared that someone is in the house which he has expressed as a possibility. We have bunnies that live downstairs and sometimes they make a ruckus in their cages, but again, we have had the bunnies for years so one would think Chance would be used to those noises.

Today, Chance's friend was over and apparently they both heard the noises but when I went down to check out what they were hearing, I heard nothing. Twice.

It is a mystery. In the mean time, I noticed that the last time Chance went downstairs with his friend, he was carrying his pellet gun down by his side like policemen do in movies as they search an area for a bad guy. Normally we do not let the boys carry their pellet guns around the house and Chance is quite compliant with this rule. I think he just wanted to feel armed in case the noise was attached to a bad guy.

We need to figure this mystery out so that Chance can feel secure in his own home.

The Tower of Terror

Chance and his Mom (along with sister, far left, and brother, far right) try to save his implants.

I believe this photo right here, best describes the thoughts of Chance and me as we lunged downward in our Tower of Terror elevator. Who knew that the ride had a camera taking pictures and who could have planned for the camera to snap just as Chance's implant started to come off? Talk about perfect timing! We weren't familiar with the ride and were not sure if we should take the implants off or not. Turns out, we should have:) The implants took care of the problem themselves somewhat when one of them swung off and while Chance and I both watched in nervous anticipation landed a short distance ahead of us. It was added stomach butterflies to an already thrilling ride. Thankfully, we were able to reach the implant before the ride lurched downward again. The ride was great fun and after the implants were safely padded in my pocket, trouble free.

Living life on the edge

There are those extreme people who like to live life on the edge. They scale mountains without using harnesses, they bungee jump off of the world's tallest bridges and they zoom through the darkness of the Space Mountain ride at Disneyland not being able to see or hear, reaching speeds of 55 miles per hour. What a thrill! Talk about living on the edge.

Well, our Chance is one of those thrill seekers. During our recent trip to Disneyland, due to the fact that we have never assessed at exactly what speed will cause the implants to let go of the magnet and fly off of Chance's head, Chance takes them off when going on roller coasters. Space Mountain is unique because you are hurling through outer space which as everyone knows is extremely dark except for a few dimpled lights provided by stars.

Chance (waving) and his brother get ready for "Blast Off" on California Screamin' Roller Coaster at California Adventure Park

I was curious to see how all of our kids liked the ride, but especially Chance who rode through the dark in silence with out hearing the nifty music or commands from mission control. Not even the screeches from other riders who give a clue as to impending dips or staggering heights on the tracks.

He loved it.

Maybe we can get him a nifty headband to hold them on, but then the microphones would be covered anyway so would that defeat the purpose?

Chance sings a solo

Chance tried out for a solo part today in music class. If you wanted a solo part, you stood up in front of the class and sang a song while the whole class listened. Quite an act of bravery I would say at age 10. Heck, that is an act of bravery at ages 7-103. Singing in front of people takes courage and confidence.
Chance got up and started to sing, and then some of the students started to laugh at him. I don't know that Chance would have told us about this incident, but the chorus teacher at the school is also Chance's guitar teacher and he told Chance's dad when we took the boys for their guitar lessons.
The teacher told the laughing students that they were being rude and and he would not tolerate it in class and that everyone was to be treated with respect. (In his words, he "came unglued!!!") Chance told us that one of the boys came over and apologized after class.
Our little Chance's confidence was a little shattered and so I went in to do some damage control.
First off, I explained to Chance that he was incredibly brave to stand up and sing in front of the class and that his dad and I were proud of him.
Then I told him that I didn't know why, but some kids are just mean and rude. They make fun of kids who don't shoot the basketball that well (Chance is a good shot and plays the game,"Speed", at recess), or kids who don't wear clothes that they like or kids who are different than them. I told him that even adults have people who are rude to them sometimes. And sometimes, kids don't realize that they are being mean.
I told him that we just have to ignore those people who laugh, and that while it can hurt our feelings when they make fun of us, to try not to worry about those few kids. There are many many more people who are not laughing and we can't let the few who are stop us from doing the things we want to do.
I acknowledged that it was hurtful that those kids were rude and laughed, but that most of the class was not laughing. Then I told Chance about the time when I was in school and I went to try out for a part in a play and I sat in the back of the room watching other kids try out in front of an audience and then I chickened out and I never tried.
"You did?" Chance asked surprised.
Then I told him,"Chance, it takes courage to stand up and sing in front of the class, and if you want to sing a solo later in the school year, I think you should get up and try out again."
Chance took this in for a minute and kind of slowly shook his head.
I think he will try out again if it is something he wants to do. I hope that is the case because I don't want him to loose his confidence. I also don't want him to get a complex about performing in front of people. He may have kids that laugh at him due to the fact that it takes him longer to learn a song and sing right on key. I want him to have the confidence to go forward anyway. These kids have no idea what a miracle Chance's hearing is and how much harder he has to work than they do to sing. I want him to be able to get past those negative kids and press forward. Chance can sing, and he is getting better and taking lessons to teach him to hear the differences in the notes and then translate that into his singing voice. And he can do it. He'll have to learn to block out the naysayers who always seem to show up.
We have been very blessed in the fact that Chance has not had a lot of ridicule from other kids due to his deafness. I don't want him to acquire a complex about it now. I'm not even sure he equates his deafness to the laughing kids. I just want him to be able to dim the noise of the naysayers and go forward to where he wants to be.

Constrained to the back of the van

After pulling into the garage after driving carpool, I heard Chance say to his little brother, "You have to get my implant back."

"Why does he have to get your implant back?" I asked.

"Because he took it and put it somewhere in the van," Chance replied, remarkably calm about the whole situation.

So I turned to my youngest son and asked,"Where is the implant?"

"Back there." He said pointing to the back of the van.

"Back there where?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"I think it is in the very back of the van." Chance replied.

Unfortunately the very back of our van which usually only has a stroller in it, had a box to go the thrift store and several play items which had not yet been removed after a week end family get together.

The search began with my youngest son at my side after I told him that he was not allowed to go into the house until we found the implant.

Chance soon joined us but we found that flat little implants can hide really well. Maybe getting a bland beige color so that it would blend in with Chance's hair better was not a good idea. Maybe we should have gone for neon green or something.

I started to imagine the reaction of the thrift workers as they came across the implant in the donated box:  "Bob, Look! I found a CIA earpiece in this here box!"

Finally, the implant was located in the bed of the stroller where it had slid down and was only visible if you actually unfolded the stroller.

Problem solved. After Chance's little brother spend a little time in his bedroom, gave Chance a big hug and promised never to do that again.:)

Let the questions begin!

I found myself in the lunchroom at Chance's school sitting in the middle of a table with several kids who had questions about Chance's deafness.
I had gone up to the school to help out in the writing class like I do each week, and Chance and I had eaten lunch together. I had to go to the office to take care of some things, so I sent Chance out to enjoy recess with his friends while I finished eating.
I noticed little kids around me looking at me so I said hello and asked them how they were doing. Then the questions started.
"You're Chance's mom huh?"
"Is Chance deaf or is he hard of hearing?"
"Was Chance born deaf?"

I explained that Chance was deaf and that they think his deafness was caused by a virus he caught when he was about 13 months old.

"What is a virus?" One of the boys wanted to know.

I explained the best I could what a virus was and how sometimes if a virus gets into our bodies it can make us sick.

"That DOES happen." One little boy turned and said to the others while nodding his head and looking very serious.

I have found that kids are very accepting of Chance's deafness, they are just curious about it which I think is great. I don't mind questions or conversations about Chance and his deafness. I am curious about things I see around me that I don't know much about too.

"I'm here every week so if you have any more questions let me know." I said.

"You're here on Wednesdays?" One boy asked.

When I replied in the affirmative, he nodded and got up to take his tray to the lunchroom.

So I wonder what we'll all talk about next week?

I'm dreaming of good vibrations...

It was a dark and coldish night. Two people lay on the living room floor where they have dozed off. Suddenly, an unfamiliar noise rips through the house originating in the hall threatening to wake up all of the sleeping children in the bedrooms.
It is a rattling, no wait, banging, no wait, metallic kind of noise. Is it a machine gun? Is is a window being pelted by BB'S or rocks? Furthermore, where in the world is the noise coming from? Is someone with intent to do harm outside trying to flush us out or are they just going to storm the house?
After some searching, we realized the noise was coming from a metallic case in the hall. One of those money cash boxes with a handle. Do we want to open it to see what is inside? It could be dangerous. However, when faced with being maimed by an unknown force or having all 5 children awake in the wee hours of the night, it was an easy call to make. Open the case.
After bringing the case out into the living room and being now fully awake, the case was opened.
Uncertainty is now replaced by laughter.
Chance's vibrating alarm clock had been put into our metal cash box that the kids use when they are playing.
I do not recommend putting your vibrating alarm clock inside a metal box. Although it will wake up those who can hear it, it may also cause a heart attack if exposure is prolonged while coming out of a deep sleep. It may also possibly work to wake the dead.  (However, it would still prove useless to those for whom it was bought - Chance would still sleep right through it)

The vibrating alarm clock may have been bought with Chance specifically in mind but it's vibrations did a great job of waking up his parents. Job well done.

The hat

Chance got a new hat and he really really likes it. It is colorful and has flaps that hang down past his ears. Covering them.
Chance sometimes forgets that he is deaf and that wearing hats with flaps that cover his ears can impede hearing.
He looks really cute in the hat and I can understand why he would want to keep his head toasty here in the wintry wonderland that is our landscape some days.
He thinks he is hearing everything as usual. The irony of being deaf is, you don't know when you are missing out on things sometimes BECAUSE you can't hear what you are missing:)
So while Chance walks around looking all cute in his hat, he is not hearing as well as he does with out the hat.
If you ask him though, he will insist that he is hearing just fine.
This has been a theme for Chance this winter. He keeps his coat on and his hat over his ears when he enters school.
He wears a hoodie with the hat up to cub scouts.
At home, he likes to wear his hat with the flaps.
Hats are where it is at for Chance.
He just needs to realize that all of these hats impede his hearing when he keeps them on during school and scouts etc.:)
With spring on the way, maybe we can help Chance fall in love with a baseball cap type hat. Those leave the ears out and uncovered so the implant microphone is able to do its thing(namely catching sound) the best it can.

Sharing a splitter

We just got back from a great family vacation to Southern California where we took in Disneyland, Sea World and went whale watching. Unfortunately, the whales were not aware that they were supposed to make an appearance but we got to see dolphins and sea lions swimming alongside our boat instead. We did get free tickets to go back and watch the whales so we'll just have to plan another vacation to watch the whales :)

During our 12 hour drive we set up a movie screen for the kids to watch while we traversed across the desert. We don't have one of those fancy screens that just gently descends out of the ceiling of the van, we instead have a DVD unit with two screens and we strap them to the back of the seats so each row can see the movie. In the past, we've had some problems with all of the kids hearing the sound, so we bought some splitters that allowed two kids to plug into each unit using headphones. Chance shared a cord with his older brother.

As we were crossing the desert and coming into the city of Las Vegas, Nevada, we were explaining some of the sights. We explained how the Eiffel Tower was a replica of the one in France. We pointed out the Pyramid, and Treasure Island that had a boat that reenacted a battle. We had been giving commentary for a good 10 minutes, when Chance's brother in the back seat yells up to us something like,"Hey! Look at that cool hotel that looks like the Eiffel Tower! And what is that castle right there?"

I turned around in my seat and said,"That's what we've been talking about for the past 10 minutes and then teasingly I asked,"Were you not listening to your parents?"

Chance's brother looked at me, then took his headphones off and said,"What?"

"We've been talking to you about these sights for the past while. " I said.

"SORRY!" He exhaled. "Chance has had the volume on so loud that I think I may be deaf now!"

Chance was blissfully unaware that things were apparently really really loud when you could hear.

"You have to tell him when that happens because he doesn't know. It is not loud for him." I explained.

After that, we didn't hear any more complaints about the volume. Chance just had no idea that it was that loud. That is what happens when you are deaf and listening to a movie through a NoizFree device (it's similar to earphones, but it sends a telecoil/radio signal to the implant as opposed to earphones that send the sound through the ear canal).

Apparently you have to tell Chance when the volume is too loud when you share a splitter with him:)

The Battle Still Continues

The state school board is no longer considering dissolving the School for the Deaf and the Blind during this legislative session and instead is going to open an investigation to look at the inner workings of USDB (Utah School for the Deaf and Blind).

This is good news for the immediate future of the school. Hopefully, upon investigation, the school board will realize that cutting the School for the Deaf and Blind will only add more monetary needs to the state budget if the services currently provided by the school are expected to be dispersed out to all of the different school districts throughout the state that have deaf children. Not to mention who will have oversight over the services the deaf kids would receive through the district. Not just the oversight of their education but the oversight of their specific needs as deaf children. Without someone who knows the needs and the process it takes to learn to hear with a hearing aid or implant, and can guide that process, the kids will still be short changed regardless of what the district offers through a piecemeal system of speech therapy etc.
So now is the time for parents of deaf children and deaf adults to let the school board know just what the services provided from the School for the Deaf and Blind have made possible for kids and adults alike.

Chance is mainstreamed and academically at the top of many of his classes due in part to the services he received through the School for the Deaf and Blind. Chance was able to get what he needed to become successful. I honesty can not imagine what it would be like now if Chance had not received what he needed early on in school in the way that he needed to receive it.

One element of this battle over the function of the School for the Deaf is the friction that is present due to the two different philosophies over how to educate deaf children. Unless you have knowledge of this battle or are "baptized by fire" into the battle by having a deaf child and searching out services that they need, it is hard to imagine.

The school board has heard complaints about the School for the Deaf and some of those complaints revolve around how one feels deaf children should be educated. The debate has been playing out in the opinion sections of our two main newspapers. Some opinions have been more fair and balanced than others.

I appreciate the fact that we as the parents of deaf kids may choose different methods to communicate and educate our children. That is a right that every parent should be afforded.

I do have a problem though when it implied or just out right stated that we parents who have chosen the oral/speech route for our children do it because it is easier for us and not best for our children.

An article in the Salt Lake Tribune titled,"Schools for the Deaf Grapple With Two Tracks," talks about the basically two tracks to teach deaf kids to communicate. A deaf adult who teaches deaf children at a mainly signing schools asks,"How do parents know which language the child needs?" The context of this question is based on the process that parents go through when their child is diagnosed. Changes have been made to ensure that when a child is diagnosed, the family receives a visit from both a deaf adult who signs and a deaf adult who listens and speaks. After some exposure to both routes by the visitors and other contact by professionals, a family is asked to choose which path they would like to follow. You aren't married to that choice. If you start on one path and realize that it is not working, you can switch over and follow another path. The point is to get language into these little kiddos pronto. No matter which way you choose, a language has to be learned. Sign language is not something you will just pick up if you are not surrounded by signing people in your family. And if a family chooses sign, the whole family needs to be involved in learning to sign.

If a child is learning to listen and speak, they will need help with that route as they are fitted with hearing aids or implanted with cochlear implants. And there is a language window when it is better for children to learn to speak. Hearing kids are learning to speak from the day they are born as they hear sounds and learn words. Kids who are implanted early, join their peers in mainstream classrooms earlier and generally speaking are extremely successful with an implant.

When Chance was diagnosed, we were exposed to a deaf adult who signs and that is all. We had to actively seek out the other option of speaking and listening. Frankly, our main concern was only for Chance. We even looked at enrolling at a neighboring university to major in sign language. We took sign classes...all of us. Speaking and listening was right for Chance and it was not decided on a whim. As far as the question of "How do parents know which language the child needs?" Could that not go both ways? And as parents we are precisely the ones who know what our children need. That is our job as parents to seek out what our children need and provide the best we can.

The argument was made by this same person in the article that she supported choice, but that it should be the child's choice and that parents often chose listening and speaking for their children because it is convenient for them.

Um, being brutally honest here, nothing about teaching a deaf child to communicate is convenient. Convenient is your hearing children who learn to speak just by living with you. You don't even have to give it a second thought, it just happens as you are going about your days. This argument does not seem to be brought up when it involves signing deaf parents who choose to teach their deaf child to sign. If parents who choose speech and listening are questioned with, "How do parents know which language the child needs," could not signing parents be asked the same thing? The problem is the second guessing of parents by others at all.

There is a lot of commitment involved regardless of which method you choose to teach your deaf child to communicate with. Convenience is not what motivates parents. Being a parent is rarely about what is convenient for the parent. Giving all within your power to give your child what they needs is usually what motivates parents. To imply that parents who choose to teach their child speaking and listening are somehow selfish, and would be willing to short change their child just for convenience, is not only grossly unfounded, but very mean spirited.

The School for the Deaf should be able to operate with the two methods to teach deaf children together. Parents who choose sign should be respected and supported in what they need just as parents who choose listening and speaking parents should be respected and supported. It does not have to be a war. There is no right or wrong here, there is only CHOICE. And parents are entitled to choose what is best for their child without judgement.