The Shadow

Halloween night, we had a little party over here at our house for Chance, his brother and a few of their friends. We have a Japanese exchange student here for the week and a day after landing in the United States, he got to experience Halloween.  There is another family in the neighborhood who has an exchange student as well and he joined us at at the party.

Part of the festivities was a scavenger hunt that I arranged placing items at various houses throughout the neighborhood for the boys to find and bring home.  Then I handed them a map with the proper houses marked with an X.

Chance led one team and his brother the other.  The teams took off into the night and we passed out candy to pint size trick or treaters.  Chance's brother's team won.  They all came in panting and the Japanese exchange students crashed onto the floor leaning against the couch to rest. They had run at break neck speeds through the neighborhood while still adjusting to a different time zone.  They are awesome.  The boys had made good time dashing around the streets near our house to locate the items.

Now the boys had to carve or decorate a pumpkin using the items they collected on the scavenger hunt.  It didn't matter if they carved the pumpkin or just managed to stick stuff onto it, they just had to use all of the items.  I thought it would give the Japanese students an opportunity to decorate a pumpkin.  In the past our exchange students have been rather fascinated with carving pumpkins.  Chance and his team arrived not long after his brother's team.

When the boys sat down with their pumpkins to begin decorating them,  it soon became clear that Chance's team did not have all of the items.  When this was pointed out, Chance exclaimed in exasperation,"I didn't know we had to go to all of the houses!"

I told Chance that I had explained that when all of the boys were sitting in the living room before they left.
 Chance looked around a little confused and then said." I didn't hear that! I am deaf you know." Chance likes to know what the plan is, and he felt he didn't have that information in this case.  Chance also rarely brings up his deafness in contexts like this.  There was actually another deaf boy on Chance's team and he didn't realize that they were supposed to go to all of the house's either.

So I loaded up Chance and took him back to the two houses he missed to gather the items.

All the boys ended up carving the pumpkins and then incorporating the items into their design.  The Japanese students pulled the pumpkin guts out with their bare hands.  They worked together with a look of both unbelief and wonder as the seeds and stringy goo never seemed to end.

It is worth noting that this year Chance and his brother dressed up as Peter Pan and his Shadow.  Chance was the shadow.  They had a great time hamming this situation up at school as Chance would steal his brother's hat and his brother would chase after him.  Apparently, Peter Pan also tried to sew his shadow on a few times as well.  They kept the student body amused.

At one point during their dad's trick or treat parade at his work, Chance wrote up an imaginary declaration of independence and handed it to Peter Pan.  His brother refused to accept it and tore the imaginary document into shreds.


Our family always has a theme we dress up like for Halloween.  This year, Chance's youngest brother and sister held heavy sway over our theme.  They chose Peter Pan.  So, Chance was Peter Pan's Shadow, his brother was Peter Pan,  his sister was  pirate, his brother was Captain Hook and his littlest sister was Wendy.  She wanted to be little Wendy and me to be big Wendy.  So we were both Wendy with matching blue dresses and bows in our hair.  Chance's dad was Mr. Smee.  A pointed request from Chance's little sister...she wanted her dad to be Mr. Smee.  It worked out quite well and everyone looked great.  I think Chance's little sister pulled off being Wendy better than I did, but one really can't compete with someone who is that cute.

Chance, Chance, are you there?

Chance has been in a choir performance at school all week.  The choir sang for a performance of three classic musicals that the school put on.  Students acted out scenes from these musicals and Chance and his fellow choir students sang and enhanced the performances of,"Phantom of the Opera," Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde," and "Wicked."

I knew Chance was in the show, I saw him and his brother perform on Monday night with the entire family.  It took us a while to find Chance that night as he was hidden from view behind some taller high school students.  We didn't have a camera that night, but consoled ourselves with the thought that we would bring the camera to one of the other performances as the boys sang several times through out the week.

I attended again solo on Saturday night and was ready and waiting on the front row to capture marvelous photos of both Chance and his brother to permanently record this moment of their junior high and high school years.  I found Chance's brother, he was kind of hidden in a corner, but by zooming the camera in and stretching, I managed to get some pictures of him.  Then I waited after the intermission when Chance would be on stage to capture him on film.  I looked as the choir stood to sing and could not see him.  Then I searched the stage when the choir sat down but could not find my boy for the life of me.  I began to doubt Chance.  Chance had brought a good friend to the performance and I could not find him in the audience either.  I started to wonder if Chance had missed the curtain call because he was with his friend and had not been where he was supposed to be.  Then my mind wandered to how Chance's grade would be affected by missing his concert.  Choir only has one way to have a term final, and that is to sing.  I could not see Chance singing and envisioned him failing choir because he  missed a curtain call and then could not get out on the stage to sing his term final in choir. In a desperate thought, I wondered if I could get Chance's brother's attention and begin a signing dialogue that would have gone something like this:

'Where is your brother?"

Chance's brother would glance around the stage, and not seeing his brother either, would shrug his shoulders at me as he started to wonder as I did if Chance would now fail his choir class.

I restrained myself from using such communications and did not cause a scene.

At the very end of the show, when the actors and actresses came out to bow, I SAW CHANCE.

He was wedged behind some highs school students in the bass section and could only be seen when everyone on stage started to move around and shift their positions. In a desperate attempt to capture him on film, I was able to get one picture to prove he was there.  One.  Then the ranks closed in again and Chance once more became invisible.

So, here is Chance in his term choir concert.

I love the fact that Chance has learned songs from these musicals and has fallen in love with a few of them.  At least I can hear him sing around the house, since I could not hear or see him in concert at the school.

For the term final concert, I am sending Chance with a stool.  That way I may be able to see him perform.

Chance doesn't believe he can't do it

They had a career day at school this past week.  In the morning the kids took tests, then in the afternoon, they got to talk to various people who were visiting the school talking about possible career options.
It was during this little career investigation that Chance came across a career that he was told he would not be able to do because he is deaf.

A marine came to one of Chance's classes and was telling the kids about being a marine. One of Chance's best friends from school raised his hand and asked if Chance would be able to join the marines with his implants.

The marine asked what kind of implants they were.  Chance's friend replied they helped Chance to hear. The marine then said that you could not be in the marines with poor hearing.

This did not set well with Chance.  I asked Chance if he had asked his friend to ask the question about the implants and he said no he didn't.

On the way home from school, Chance was telling me that, "these people don't know what they are talking about!  I can hear just fine!"

I think this may be the first time that Chance has been told that he can not do something because he is deaf. Obviously, Chance does not agree that this would hinder him in being a marine.

Most times if Chance was told that he could not do something because he was deaf, I would be right there with Chance telling him that he could do anything he wanted to do and he didn't need to worry about the opinion of others.

I understand though how being a marine and being deaf could be problematic. If Chance's implants come off in combat or for any other reason, he can not hear.  And sending in an interpreter with him into battle to sign for him all the commands that are issued is not really feasible.

Technology as it stands now for deaf and hard of hearing people would not do well in the marines where you are put in some of the most dangerous situations in the world.  When you can't hear or there is the possibility that your "ears" can fall off (or be blown off), this can cause problems for you and for the men and women who are serving with you.  Not because as a deaf person you are not capable. It is the nature of the communication between troops and the noise and chaos that ensues in some situations the marines are involved in.  You have to be able to communicate with your team.

So, for now with the present technology, I can see how being deaf in the marines would be a problem.  I don't rule out future technology and other possibilities though.  Chance does not feel he is held back at all by being deaf, so he'd be open to other possibilities.

Who knows, maybe in a few years, there will be a technology advancement that makes it possible for Chance to be a marine while being deaf.

I never rule out any possibilities with that kid.

Chance's implant goes SPLAT

I got a call from the school last week.  It was Chance's brother calling. He informed me that he, Chance and a teacher had just picked up the pieces of Chance's implant off of the gymnasium floor.

"Pieces?"  I asked.

"The hook part of the implant isn't there anymore and it is in pieces."

"How is Chance? Does he need me to bring his backup implant?"

"Chance, do you want mom to bring your back up implant?" My son called out to Chance who was standing nearby.

I heard Chance in the background say that he would be alright for the last two periods of the day.

"Chance just wanted you to know so that you could order another one right away." My son informed me.


Flash forward a few hours later.



Chance presents me with a baggie containing his implant.  In various pieces.

"WHAT HAPPENED?"  I asked since I could not fathom how the implant could have broken that way.

Chance then demonstrated what happened in P.E. class that day.  He and a friend were goofing off in the gym and Chance put his arm around his friends neck/shoulders.  His friend reached back behind his head to grab Chance and hit one of the implants with his arm, causing it to fly off and crash onto the gymnasium floor.  Where it kind of went splat.

Chance then went and got his brother in class so he could come help him recover the implant pieces.  When your brother is deaf and his hearing device splatters across the floor, it counts as a valid excuse to leave class.
Needless to say, that implant has retired and a new recruit is en route to our house through the mail as we speak.

Chance on his way back for his second implant surgery.

Who knew THAT could happen?(Chance 7 years ago)

Wow. Who knew THAT could happen?

This is why we have insurance on those babies.

Parent teacher conference

 This last week was parent teacher conference.  It was a crazy busy night with my husband and I making it  to the school by the skin of our teeth.  In fact, while we were waiting in line to see a teacher, we got a text telling us that the scouting activity that night of which my husband is a part, had been moved up....by an hour and a half.  So,  I finished visiting the last teachers solo.
It was a good night to be parent.  I got comments like:

"Oh, how I love having that boy in my class."

"He is so polite and always helpful."

"I think he is gifted."

"He is such a positive influence in class."

"He is getting 104% in class so far."

Yes, when I get down as a parent, I am going to go back over these comments made by Chance's teachers :)

I would say the school year is going well for Chance so far.  Physics is a class he has to focus in on for that intense science  terminology that comes up, but I talked to his teacher and she is willing to work with Chance and make sure he understands what is being asked on the test questions.  She also has a monthly spread sheet that lists what they are studying on each day.  How awesome is that?  Now we can know at home what is coming up and prepare him with vocabulary if needs be. His teacher said she would email me the calendar each month.

I was very excited to hear his speech teacher say she thinks he is gifted.  Speech.....as in getting up and talking in front of people.  I always hoped that Chance would acquire this skill and be comfortable talking in front of people despite the fact that he is deaf.  He has to give impromptu speeches in the class and think up things on the fly.  His teacher says he is doing really well and does not seem nervous at all.  She told me he gave a speech last week about animal cruelty and used the fact that he has animals and that they need to be treated with love and kindness.

Wow. We could not be happier with Chance's progress.  Go Chance!

To use or not to use that phrase

Chance is a little bit late with the meaning of some words.  For years this worked in our favor on the playground because Chance didn't pick up on all of those naughty little potty words that kids say.  We knew his hearing was really picking up when he started coming home with words that other kids had known for years, and his deafness had protected him against.

Jokes about farts?  Chance didn't pick up on those for a looooooong time.

The various terms that float through childhood when referring to a certain male anatomical part? Chance had no idea.

Chance has been introduced to many of the words that all the other kids know by now.  But every once in a while, he will use a word, that we would really rather he not, and upon investigation we discover that it is a bit like that line in the movie, "A Princess Bride," when someone says," I do not think that word means what you think it means."

So it was when Chance walked into the living room and said to his sister, "screw you."

I was sitting in the same room so I knew there had been no altercation or escalation that had led to an incident where one might say that phrase to someone.

I asked Chance, "What did you say?"  He repeated it back to me with a question...."screw you?"

I asked him what he thought that word meant.

"Dang it or something like that." Chance replied.

Not quite the meaning of that phrase.   I was glad that Chance was off on his definition and had not intentionally been using such a phrase on his sister.....or anyone else for that matter.

I told Chance that "dang it" was not what that phrase meant and that it was a phrase we don't want to use.

Flash forward to the next day when I am picking up the boys from school.  Chance got into the car and cheerfully said,"Mom, I came up with another word to use instead of screw you."

"What's that?"  I asked.

"Curse you."  Chance replied happily.

Well, not as bad as the first phrase but not a perfect substitute either.

The saga will continue over at our house while Chance tries to find the right phrase for the meaning he is trying to convey.

Chance starts 8th grade

Chance started school this past week.  He has a full schedule.  He is taking physics, P.E., choir, a computer class, speech, history and English and he is taking 9th grade math honors. Since his math class is a high school math class it actually counts on his high school transcript. At this rate, Chance will graduate high school having taken calculus. Chance has one of those engineering type brains.

He also practices soccer every Monday and Thursday after school plus weekly games.

And he helps to plan activities and lead his youth group at church.

Oh, and his mowing business is still going strong as people still need him to take care of their yards.

Chance is a busy boy.

He also manages to make movies with his friends in between everything else that he does.

This past week Chance got a nice surprise.  Two of his friends who spent years with him attending the School for the Deaf toured his school to see if they wanted to attend.

Chance attends a charter school and there is a waiting list to get in.  Apparently, his friends names came up. Chance didn't even know they were on the waiting list.

Chance is so excited about the prospect of having some of his deaf friends attend his school.  These boys have been friends with Chance since he was 3 or 4 and the opportunity to be in the same school again would be great. All of them wear cochlear implants and have been attending neighborhood or charter schools for years now.

Both boys are a year behind Chance in school, but they would all be in junior high which means they would see each other all the time, and possibly have some classes together. Then there is lunch.  They would all have the same lunch time.

Update:  Chance's two friends are not going to attend his school this year but are looking to attend next year. Sigh, Chance is bummed but many of his friends from last year are still at the school so he still has an active social life :)

Chance flips the phone

It was bedtime and the house was finally settling down for the night.

Most of the kids were in bed, and Chance had just put his implants away and was walking down the hall to his bedroom.

Chance's dad and I had a movie cued up and were just getting ready to settle in for some relaxation when we heard it.

A phone, somewhere in the house had suddenly gone off the hook.

We have five headsets and they are flat like remotes so they easily slide under things or inbetween coushions and get misplaced.

We set out to find the offending phone wondering all the while why in the world a phone was suddenly going off in our moment of peace and quiet.

Thankfully it was quiet or we might never have found the phone.

Chance's dad and I searched our chairs, standing up and doing that little swivel dance you do when you are looking for an item that could possibly be laying where you were just sitting.

No, it was not in the nooks and crannies of our chairs, it was down the hall somewhere.

Why?  Did one of our children suddenly get the urge to call someone at 11:00?

Chance's dad wandered around and found the phone laying on the floor in the middle of the hall.  Isn't that where everyone keeps their phone?

Chance had passed the phone, flipped it on by bumping it, and then continued on his way in his quiet, restful, minus implants world.

Obviously, Chance gets to dictate when his quiet time begins at night.  That is quite a skill.

Chance's Superpower

Chance's deafness has proven to be a major benefit to his older brother this summer. No, Chance doesn't get special privileges at the water park or get free stuff at the amusement park.

What Chance brings to the table is much more valuable than that........Chance can read girls' lips. When they are out of the range of hearing for mere mortal boys, Chance has the ability to discern what passes between a girl and her friend if he can see their mouths.

It's almost like having a super power.

Chance and his brother saw a girl that his brother knows while coming out of the temple.  She was going in as they were coming out. They exchanged greetings and Chance turned to look back as the girls went in and although she whispered it to her friend, Chance saw her say, "I like him."

Chance then turned to his brother and told him,"She told her friend that she likes you." Chance's brother thinks she is pretty attractive so this was welcome news.




So now we know what Chance's super power is. And his older brother has been made aware of a girl that likes him.

Chance goes to scout camp

Chance left for a week long scout camp today.  Scout camp is a great place for boys to spend time in nature, earn some merit badges and take a break from regular dental care.

I am so happy for him and know that he will create some great memories with friends like in years past.  Who knows what may happen this year.  Will Chance be outed again around the campfire and have the girl he has a crush on announced to all of the other boys by a friend?  Will Chance stay upright and avoid passing out like last year? Who knows what can happen......a week sleeping in tents in the wild can create all kinds of unique opportunities.

I will miss Chance while he is gone.  He is a bright spot in our home.  But I love the scouting program and am glad that my boys get to participate in such an active troop.  The leaders are amazing and are so dedicated.

I secretly packed a package of Oreos that Chance should find part way through the week as he digs deeper into his duffle back to retrieve such necessities as bug spray, mess kits and hopefully a toothbrush.  (The boys have told me how some scouts ease up on their brushing hygiene at scout camp).

Chance even packed dental floss.  All by himself.  I am not under the delusion that the floss will be used every night, but I think brushing is a truly humane thing to do when you are sharing close quarters with a bunch of other people.  I don't even want to know what morning breath is like when you haven't brushed for 4 days.  Ick!

Chance has worked hard mowing and trimming lawns to pay for camp these last several weeks.  He even has some spending money for the camp store.

When I was sneaking in the Oreos, I noticed that Chance packed a roll of toilet paper, paper and pencils to write with and the old towel I told him to take.  Last time he took one of my good WHITE towels.  I don't think it will ever recover.

Chance is in his back-up implants.  They are the Freedom version.  He put them on last night to make sure they were working well and had charged batteries for today.  Chance noticed a difference between the way he hears in his old implants verses his new ones.  He likes the new ones more. So do we.  That is why he is out in the wilds in his old ones:)

A week later........

Chance had a great time at scout camp.  We went up on the last night for the parents' night program.  Chance brushed 3 times (4 once we got there and I asked about it).  That number is really good considering that I took an informal poll at camp and found that many of the boys had brushed once...or not at all.
Chance is one step ahead of the game.

Chance shot arrows, and participated in the adult iron man relay.  He swam against leaders and staff and did really well.  I wonder how many of the leaders have been swimming every day for an hour and a half all summer.

Chance also drank lots and lots of huckleberry pop from the store at camp.  It is good but VERY sweet.  It is a good thing he brushed more than the average camper.

Chance did not pass out at camp this year.   But he did get dehydrated.  He lay down for a few hours in the tent after drinking water.  His dad went up to be a leader for a few days and said Chance did not feel well and just did not look right the afternoon he slept. We have to convince that boy to drink more water when he is out in the wilds.



Some of Chance's fellow scouters lamented that they wished they had the ability to go into the tent and not hear anything.  Ah, a bonus of being deaf.

Chance also did his wilderness overnight camp.  Chance went up to a clearing, made a shelter from objects he found there, and then spent the night.  I was wondering exactly how long it would take Chance to wake up in the morning and return back to camp since he would not hear the noises of morning. He also would not hear the things that go bump in the night up in the woods.  Not hearing may have made sleeping in the wilderness in your handmade shelter a little easier.  Just a blissful sleep full of woodland smells minus the animal noises and snapping twigs that go bump in the night.  According to his scout leader, he came back about the same time as the other wilderness campers too.
That is good.  I imagined Chance tired from his week of outdoor living sleeping in until the sun shone in his eyes or the morning was steadily heading to afternoon.

Chance came home tired, and full of stories to tell.  He fell asleep the day he got home in his dad's chair just before his brother and some friends headed out to watch a backyard movie when it got good and dark.  Chance missed the movie. He was kind of upset at me for not waking him up so he could participate in the festivities, but sometimes it is best for 13 boys who just returned from a week of scout camp to go to bed early and get some sleep.

Even if they want to party on.