Sometimes... It is Not OK!

Rarely in Chance's sojourn as a deaf child have I felt the need to put an adult in their place due to how they treated my son. We have been blessed to have mostly positive experiences and few outright persecutions due to Chance's deafness.

This week was an unfortunate week where Chance's inability to hear brought an unacceptable response from an adult at the school.

When Chance was first diagnosed as being deaf, I remember telling his dad that I could understand children saying things about his hearing aids or even making fun some as kids do when kids are different than them, but I would have no patience with adults who were mean to him due to his deafness. I feel adults should know better than to taunt a deaf child or any child who has a disability. And they should have more of an understanding as well.

This week at school however, an adult exhibited less than stellar behavior when interacting with Chance.

During school lunch, apparently some of the kids left their trays sitting on the table and did not clear them. To take care of this problem, a staff member at the school (not a teacher or principle) went out to find every 6th, 7th and 8th grade child to come to the lunchroom to help clean up since no one would fess up to leaving their trays.

Chance was upstairs in a little alcove at the top of the stairs that looks down on the lunchroom. Chance was sitting by a friend and suddenly his friend stood up and ran down the stairs. Chance said he thought, "I wonder why he got up and left so fast?" Soon, Chance found out as the staff member came to where Chance was and just yelled that he had to come down.

Chance said,"I was the only one there mom."

I asked Chance if he heard the man yelling before, and he said that he could hear that someone was yelling somewhere but he could not understand what they were saying.

Chance started scrambling to pack up his laptop and backpack as the man yelled out at the only child there which was Chance.

This staff member is loud to begin with. I have heard him at the school during lunch keeping the kids in line as they eat lunch. He has a very LOUD voice and it carries all the way down the hall. Plus, this man is a big man. The combination can be very intimidating to kids in normal circumstances I am sure.

The thought of this big loud man bellowing at my deaf son because he did not hear him calling the kids to the lunchroom, did not go over well with me.

Thankfully, Chance does not seem to have taken the situation personally.

My older son told me that this staff member was angry and was yelling at all of the older kids to come. My older son was outside eating lunch and heard yelling but by the time he got back inside, the incident appeared to be over. It was not, however, as the staff member then insisted that all of the older grades appear in the lunchroom the next day during lunch to clean during their lunch break. All of this because a few of the kids did not clear their trays. My boys bring lunch from home and don't even use the school trays so yelling at Chance because someone did not clear their tray was pointless to begin with. Chance is not a child that requires one to yell anyway. He is usually quite compliant and tries to adhere by the rules. He does not need harsh treatment to comply. I am told all the time by his teachers in school things like,"I wish all of my students were like Chance," and "He is no trouble at all."

I headed back up to the school to see the principle right after school and one of the things I told him was,"Someone yelling my son because he did not hear is not OK."

The principle told me that I had taken him off guard as he did not know about the situation but that he would email me when he checked it out. I have not heard back from him yet, though if he does not contact me by tomorrow, I will call him back.

I understand that there are a lot of kids to keep under control at the school, but this situation seems to have gotten out of hand. A man who will yell at a deaf child is a man who is out of control. He should have been able to realize that Chance was the only one in the room and may not have heard rather than go off on him. I think he should have been able to contain himself with all of the kids. Yelling and screaming at kids like that over left over trays is not a proper response from an adult with kids who have normal hearing let as well yelling at a deaf child who does not grasp what is going on. Was all of this yelling worth it? Was it effective? I don't think so. I think it just scared the kids spitless. This seems to have been more about control than moving towards a solution.

I am not one who regularly goes to the principle's office but I felt that this situation could not just be let go. Meanwhile, I am waiting to see what the principle says.