To tell or not to tell - that is the question

The kids had swim class these past few weeks and I have been in the mom-and-tot class which has me in the water with my youngest.

We are helping our young ones learn to kick, go under the water, float etc. so there is not a lot of time for talking, but I did have a conversation with one of the moms one day.

One of the moms was watching my son and expressed that he talked well and wondered how old he was. I told her that it was just the last 6 months or so that my son has really started talking like he is now.

She said that her first daughter started talking in sentences by 12 months but that her younger daughter wasn't really saying anything at 19 months.

I had never met this woman before and I did not know her daughter at all. We only had a minute to talk and then we were helping our kids swim.

I saw the little girl again a few days later and she seemed to take in everything around her - very visually aware of her surroundings. Her mom would say things to her, but the little girl never said anything back.

I am no expert and do not claim to be such, but I could not help but think, what if this little girl is another little Chance? What if she is not hearing what is going on around her and it doesn't occur to anyone that she can not hear?

This little girl could just be a late talker. She could be really quiet. There could be any number of reasons why she is not saying anything.

Do I mention that maybe she should have her daughter's hearing tested? Calmly and kind of off hand of course, but do I say anything?

Poor little Chance went 2 years with out hearing and we had no idea.

But I have no relationship with this woman. She doesn't know me and I don't know her. I tried to think what I would have thought if someone I didn't know, out in a public place like a pool or park had suggested that I get my child's hearing tested. It would have been so out there, that I might have thought the stranger suggesting it was paranoid.

Then I may have gone home and done one of those "tests" that people do on their kids. You stand behind them and bang pans together and see if they respond. Well, Chance may have heard that! Chance responded to thunder. The noise scared him.

Also, if I had been told about checking Chance's hearing on trash day and watched Chance dash down the driveway to sit and wait for the garbage truck because he heard it coming long before any of the rest of us did, that would have been proof that he could hear right?

I have had several parents who have told me that they thought their child had a hearing loss for a while but then they did one of these "tests" to see and their child passed. Kids can have hearing loss and pass those tests.

In the end, I was hoping that somehow, I might be able to talk to this mom again and mention that my second son was deaf. In the natural flow of that conversation I could have mentioned that he could not hear for 2 years because we did not catch it. Maybe that would have been enough to get her thinking. I was in the midst of deciding what to do on the last day of swim class. Could I just let it go and hope that if this little girl had hearing loss, someone else along the way would plant the seed of having her hearing tested? How much time could be wasted for this poor little girl if she does have hearing loss?

Well, the mom and her little girl did not come to class the last day. I never had an opportunity to say anything. But it got me thinking of what would be the best approach in the future. I hope and pray that if that little girl has hearing loss, someone catches it soon.